Wednesday, June 17, 2009

On Scarring, Eyepatch and Missing Teeth

Scarring, Eyepatch and Missing Teeth Hotness Test

There has been a lot of commenting on the affect of scarring, etc. on one's hotness. I suspect the hotness derived from scars, eyepatchs and missing teeth depends to some extent on the circumstances under which they were obtained. To illustrate my point, I created a brief test.

Select the answer most closely matching your situation.

1) How did you lose your tooth (teeth)?
a) Cross-checked, overtime, game 7, Stanley Cup Playoffs. (Bonus point: Scored game winning goal on ensuing power play.)
b) Stumbled into a signpost during pub crawl.
c) "Flossing?" "What's flossing?"

2) What caused your scarring?
a) Donated both kidneys to brother. (Just in case he ever needs one.)
b) Tattoo removal gone bad.
c) Running with scissors.

3) Why are you wearing an eye patch?
a) Strained eye staring death in the face.
b) Stared at a total eclispe.
c) Poked with a home-made light saber.

Take 3 points for each A, 2 for each B and 1 for C and total.

7 to 9 points = Smoking Hot!
3 to 6 points = You'll do if the smoking guy is taken
1 to 2 points = There is nothing wrong with celibacy

4 comments:

  1. I think this quiz is faulty. 'Nam is not an option for any of these.

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  2. Too funny. Even Mike laughed out loud - and he usually only laughs out loud at dog-related humor.

    Hope all goes well with the surgery tomorrow.

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  3. I hate to get all conspiracy-theorist on everyone, but have you considered this MAY just be an elaborate, cleverly designed way to avoid getting a summer job?

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  4. In response to Donna's comment....

    On the contrary...Jake has been applying for Summer security positions, of which the requirements were "tough looking scars and eyepatches"....

    So you see....Jake is only increasing his marketability. :-)

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